Welcome to the page of my website that is entirely dedicated to The Witcher. This is one of my favorite book series of all time, and Witcher 3 is in my top five games (for I am not a gamer and have only played 20 at the most.)

I could sit here and explain the plot but that's for chumps (just kidding i'm lazy as fuck) so i'll give you guys this. A man with the worst possible guidelines for what families and relationships should be manages to fumble but somehow succeed in them as he chases down his destiny daughter. And also there's like elves and dragons and shit. I find myself consistently immersing myself in their world because the tone manages to bounce between evil dark fantasy a la my life sucks (anytime Geralt is moping or something incredibly vile is happening to Ciri) and "medieval seinfeld" (how my friend described any time that Dandelion make an on screen appearance) without feeling dissonant or weird or just out of touch. Sapkowski's characters are very well written and the bonds they have with each other just feel so REAL. Geralt and Dandelion feel like they truly are friends because their dynamic is portrayed so well. Yennefer honestly deserves her own website but anytime she calls Ciri her daughter I feel like I'm about to burst into tears. Every character you meet is just so ALIVE!!!!

The show adaptation made in 2001 (Netflix does not exist in my realm nor does H*nry C*vill) is admittedly quite bad but adds not only visualizations of the characters that I think are fantastic, especially Yennefer, but also is so incredibly Polish and full of soul that it's just plain good again. The show only seems to span Sword of Destiny, with a few moments from Geralt's childhood, all while really not adhering to canon at all. Sure you have a terrible cgi dragon and really weird looking combat...but you also have very tender scenes between Geralt and Dandelion as Geralt struggles with his humanity, and really touching moments with Yennefer, and of course, Geralt's entire fucking backstory. No longer has his mother straight up abandoned him, nay! In a scene where he's taken away by another Witcher, Visenna stands on the porch, and says to her son "You will never become a Witcher"(or, at least, this is what she says in the bad english captions). The first episode of the show reallyyyy hit hard for me as we know that Geralt was a boy when he was brought to Kaer Morhen, obviously, but watching him actually suffer made me feel insane. When Geralt runs to Ciri after he finds you, he looks like the child he used to be.

Now....the games...

I have only played a portion of 2 (Assassins of Kings) and I've played a LOT of 3 (Wild Hunt). Around 200 hours or so. Most of those are quite honestly just me fucking around doing side quests because I completed the main story and decided I was going to do a "slow playthrough" that lasted for all of three hours. Anyway. While the games are not perfect by any means, the sex-card mechanic in 1 really makes my stomach turn, 2's combat can be janky, and the third act of 3 is kind of a mess, Witcher 3 remains one of my favorite games of all time. I do wish that some of the characters looked different...Geralt is much too swole for my tastes and I miss his looks in the earlier games, and I have my own ideas of what Yennefer and Ciri look like, but to me, others are just fine. The main story in 3 is incredible, though it suffers at times for those who have not read the books, or know nothing about The Witcher...the whole online debacle with "Yennefer vs Triss" especially. The Witcher 3 fandom manages to be quite incredibly misogynistic despite the titular character in the universe being...a woman.
Onto the good, as I've complained enough. Despite the shortcomings in the last portion, I personally think that 3's plot is very well done. There is enough tension and mystery to keep things going, and again, the fact that we get to see what these worlds look like in such good quality really sells it for me. I enjoy the combat, I love the placement of monsters and contracts around the world, and I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE DLCS!!!! The two DLCs, being the shorter, paranormal "Hearts of Stone" and the fiery and brooding "Blood and Wine" are excellent, though I do prefer Blood & Wine as I just prefer the storyline over HOS, and the fact that I get to see my beloved Regis again!!! The bosses in them are quite good, (though when playing HOS for the first time I did not realize you could just escape from the Ofieri mage and come back...many hours were spent in frustration) especially the final boss in Blood and Wine, which also lent many hours of frustration, but I literally cheered when I finally beat it. And then got sad again.
Some mutuals of mine have criticized Blood and Wine, for the reason that Regis' characterization is a bit skewed from the books. I do see their point (and will probably see it clearer when I eventually finish my reread...but I am motivated by vampire yaoi above all else, and thus it does not bother me. RegisxDettlaff for life. Fuck Sylvia Anna all my homies HATE Sylvia Anna...if I was there I NEVERRR would have treated Dettlaff that way...

- Geralt of Rivia? More like Gayralt of Transgenderivia -

Another reason I adore this series is because I personally think there is a good trans narrative that you can gather from it, even though that was CERTAINLY not Sapkowski's intent. I find this narrative clearest with Yennefer, which makes her agony over being infertile all the more tragic. At the end of her schooling at Aretuza she achieves her goal of looking how a woman should, her ideal, I would even say she happily gives up the right to have children in the moment, and then regrets it later. I find that it makes her relationship with Ciri that much stronger.
But a headcanon is just a headcanon, and so it remains in my beautiful mind palace, and in my discord server where I yell about it with my friend Roy (who is also reading the books and has taken up the herculean task of topping Dandelion so he can stop terrorizing The Continent. Thank you Roy.) Geralt is also transgender, by the way. Yeah I just emailed Sapkowski. And Ciri's nonbinary. Crazy how that works!

All in all...I am very autistic about this series. It is both a blessing and a curse. IAMSOEXCITEDFORWITCHERFOUR!!!!!!!!11!1!!!!1!